Drink Your: Maple
by Creator-Of-Nightmare
Summary: Canada gets drunk. Nough said. Crack fic, I dont even know...


**Yeah, me and my friend took turns writing this. Don't take it seriously xD But yeah...enjoy! Warning, bad grammer and bad typing ahead. We both took turns writing sentences xD This is not my real writing, so yeah.. Don't judge me xD  
**

**HETALIA **

In a world where countries are humans, there lived an innocent country named Canada. Canada was tired of living in his brothers shadow.

"Germany may I please have some beer?" asked Canada. Poor Germany, he thought Canada was giving the beer to America, so he said yes and gave Canada the beer. "Thank you so much"Canada said, but Germany stopped listening after he gave Canada the beer. Canada went home and drank all the beer. "Who?" asked his bear friend. "Shut... UP" he said sluggishly. Canada had already drank the whole six pack of beer Germany gave him, and since he never had alcohol before he was _REALLY _drunk. "You know...why is it my ppppirthday... is forgotten. when compared to my stupid selfish fish faced hoser who claims to be my

brother! Maple it all!" Canada was getting really mad over nothing "Why did Merica just _HAVE _to get... Founded threefold day _after phhhhh me? _**TELL ME!" **Canada grabbed a empty beer bottle and threw it. "You know...maybe, just maybe. I should. I don't know. Do somethinzz" Canada grabbed his phone and sent a text to the people on the top of his contacts. France, America, and England

_Get your hoser butts over here! - Canadia. _

So he put his pants on (his head) and grabbed the smashed bottle. _BUZZZZ,_he took out his phone and checked his texts,

_hey Canada! R u ok? Y r u so mad at me, I mean I'm the coolest brother anyone could ever ask for- America_

Growling, Canada responded with this

_And I'm the most dfdfhjsfh GET OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK YOU IN FLORDIA! - Love, Canada._

Canada hit send and collapsed on his couch. He got another text, this one from England.

_Who? - England_

Canada wanted to hit something, but responded by sending a bunch of swears then telling him his adress plus saying America was coming. Only france was left.

_Hey aren't u that kid I watched way back when? -love (literally) France_

That text hurt Canada so badly that it made him cry for 2 seconds. He couldn't believe his own papa would forget his name!

_England is coming - No, just no._

He went, grabbed his hockey stick and went to his door and waited until America would burst in. An hour later he did. "Like, the totally awesome me is he-" Hockey stick to the face. "I... HATE...you" Canada whispered. "Dude, you don't just hit someone in the face unless its russia, then its okay but me!?" America pouted. Then he saw that Canada's living room had beer bottles. "Dude, did you get drunk?" America was laughing on the ground leaving a confused canadian when england arrived. "Okay, this is the place that the text said to come to. I hope its a cute girl and not just my unicorn playing a trick on me." england complained to himself.

"Yo! England! Canada's drunk! Get the camera!" America said. He was on the verge of peeing his pants. "Wait This is canada's house i thought this was a blind date" why does Canada have pants on his head?England thought to his self. "Wait what?" A closer look showed canada had a hockey stick in his hand and America, though having a laugh attack, seemed to be alright. Then he heard the car pull up behind him.

"Im here!" France burst out with his hand in the air. "I just remembered my-" England cut in before france could finish. "France, you bloody frog! What are you doing here?" "Why, black sheep, I was invited!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET IN THE MOTHER MAPLE HOUSE!" Canada yelled. " i am tired...of all your... bickering. so can you please call germany and get...Mehhhh...BEEEEERRRR! only because i don't have his numberzzzzz**" **he muttered. "Yeah.. He is drunk." England sighed. He turned to France. "Don't you dare take advantage of him in this state you pervert." "I am insulted you pirate! To my own flesh and blood you think I would?" England facepalmed. "That hasn't stopped you before." " Are you implying that i went pedo-bear on my own son?!" france was baffled "i'm not implying, I'm saying" England said under his breath. France was about to open his mouth when, HOCKEY STICK TO THE FACE! "That's my bo-" England also got a HOCKEY STICK TO THE FACE! "My houssse... MY RuLeS... now SHUT UP! Canada screamed. "GET THE MALPE PHONE AND CALL GERMANY!" he screeched. "okay let me just talk it over with the other two" England told you Canada. They went into a huddle and whispered among themselves. When their back was turned, Russia's head appeared out of the floor beside Canada. "That better not leave a hole." Canada whispered. Too drunk to care. "Nyet, but I heard you want drink, das? Here!" His head disappeared, leaving 6 bottles of the strongest Russian vodka in the world.

"I think we should bring Germany over because he knows how to deal with drunk people." England whispered "yes that's a good idea. I'll call him now, because i have Germany on speed dial." France said with a ring of joy in his voice. "Can't we record him first? We may never get another chance!" America squeaked with tears of joy in his eyes. "Okay, hey Cana- OH MY GOD!" England saw 3 empty bottles of Vodka on the floor and a Canadian starting a 4th.

After removing the Vodka from Canada, France called Germany. "It will all be okay." England reassured Canada. "your a way better FATHER TO HIM!" France cried "I can't believe you said that!'" England said "I LOVE YOU!" they said in unison. "GIVE ME MY FREAKING DRINKS YOU MAPLE EATING SON OF A HOSER!" Canada broke free and rushed towards the door. "YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALI-" Germany burst through the door "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Grabbing Canada by the shoulders and shaking him. Canada wept. "My poor drinks..."

After that Germany duck taped Canada to his bed so that he won't run off and gave him a big bottle of water. Than Germany drove England, America, and France home. For the rest of the week Germany stopped by Canada's house and helped him recover from that "AMAZING DAY THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET" America yelled.

**_THE END_ **


End file.
